mother-in-law
Aug. 27th, 2003 11:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annissamazingI may have mentioned that Justin and his parents have had a falling out. I did not have a falling out with them since they didn't like me to begin with. Just in case, here's a recap.
We had his parents over for Easter dinner. While they were there, his mother made a racist comment about a few of our neighbors. "Terrorist Central" I believe she called our home. That bothered me (especially since my window was open and they were standing right next to it), but it pissed Justin off something awful. So mother's day rolls around and Justin hasn't made plans with his mother. I tell him to invite her over for dinner, so he calls her at about 8:30 am with the invite. She doesn't answer, but we get a call about three minutes later from his dad explaining that she'd just left to go to the store, but that she wouldn't be coming for dinner because she didn't know if Justin was going to do anything with her because he hadn't called earlier that week so she would go instead with David and his mother.
Now here's a couple interesting facts:
1. Vanessa doesn't leave her home before 10:00 if she doesn't work that day. Never has.
2. Even if she had broken her life-long habit and had actually gone to the store that morning, that doesn't explain why David didn't answer the phone.
3. Vanessa doesn't like her mother-in-law and looks for any reason to not spend time with her.
4. Vanessa will cancel half of the appointments she makes and feel no guilt for doing it.
So these facts combined lead me to believe that she was pissed because Justin didn't make a big production of mother's day and made other plans so she could "punish" Justin by not spending mother's day with him.
We got a call the next day from David telling Justin that he should call his mother because she was upset about him "brushing her off on mother's day." Justin told him that he hadn't brushed her off, that she had declined the invitation and that if she wanted to talk to him that she should call him herself. She didn't call. A week later Justin stopped by his dad's store (they both work for the same company at different stores) to pick up some tires. His dad didn't leave his office to talk to him at all, so Justin picked up his tires, waved at his dad, and headed back to work.
When I got home that night there was a message from Vanessa that said, "I don't know why you're doing this to me and your dad, but if you don't want to spend time with us while we're alive, then you don't want our stuff when we're dead. We've got a new executor for our will. You'll still get something, but it won't be what you would have gotten."
I talked to Justin and he explained what happened at the store that day and then I checked the time stamp on her message. It was about 5 minutes after Justin left his dad's store.
Well, this puts us in an odd situation. Family is very important to me, so I'm unhappy that she would so casually write off her only child. But if we make any attempt at reconciliation, then in her mind it would only be because we wanted her stuff. We didn't respond to the message and still haven't. I don't think it really warrants it.
Justin got a call from his dad yesterday saying that he was going to have a barbecue at their house in celebration of his mother's birthday and would Justin and I like to come. Justin very politely said he would not be there, but that he would send Vanessa a card.
So now we come to the point of this post.
Justin called me just now to tell me that he had sent his mother's card. He went to the half-price card store, but all of their cards said, "I love you" and he didn't want that, so he found a really ugly card that just said Happy Birthday. Well, he didn't like that one either. Then he found a pretty card with butterflies on it. He opened it up and it reads, "Happy Birthday. I hope you receive as much joy as you bring other people." He said he laughed so hard that the other people in the store started staring at him. That card is currently winging it's way over to their house.
We had his parents over for Easter dinner. While they were there, his mother made a racist comment about a few of our neighbors. "Terrorist Central" I believe she called our home. That bothered me (especially since my window was open and they were standing right next to it), but it pissed Justin off something awful. So mother's day rolls around and Justin hasn't made plans with his mother. I tell him to invite her over for dinner, so he calls her at about 8:30 am with the invite. She doesn't answer, but we get a call about three minutes later from his dad explaining that she'd just left to go to the store, but that she wouldn't be coming for dinner because she didn't know if Justin was going to do anything with her because he hadn't called earlier that week so she would go instead with David and his mother.
Now here's a couple interesting facts:
1. Vanessa doesn't leave her home before 10:00 if she doesn't work that day. Never has.
2. Even if she had broken her life-long habit and had actually gone to the store that morning, that doesn't explain why David didn't answer the phone.
3. Vanessa doesn't like her mother-in-law and looks for any reason to not spend time with her.
4. Vanessa will cancel half of the appointments she makes and feel no guilt for doing it.
So these facts combined lead me to believe that she was pissed because Justin didn't make a big production of mother's day and made other plans so she could "punish" Justin by not spending mother's day with him.
We got a call the next day from David telling Justin that he should call his mother because she was upset about him "brushing her off on mother's day." Justin told him that he hadn't brushed her off, that she had declined the invitation and that if she wanted to talk to him that she should call him herself. She didn't call. A week later Justin stopped by his dad's store (they both work for the same company at different stores) to pick up some tires. His dad didn't leave his office to talk to him at all, so Justin picked up his tires, waved at his dad, and headed back to work.
When I got home that night there was a message from Vanessa that said, "I don't know why you're doing this to me and your dad, but if you don't want to spend time with us while we're alive, then you don't want our stuff when we're dead. We've got a new executor for our will. You'll still get something, but it won't be what you would have gotten."
I talked to Justin and he explained what happened at the store that day and then I checked the time stamp on her message. It was about 5 minutes after Justin left his dad's store.
Well, this puts us in an odd situation. Family is very important to me, so I'm unhappy that she would so casually write off her only child. But if we make any attempt at reconciliation, then in her mind it would only be because we wanted her stuff. We didn't respond to the message and still haven't. I don't think it really warrants it.
Justin got a call from his dad yesterday saying that he was going to have a barbecue at their house in celebration of his mother's birthday and would Justin and I like to come. Justin very politely said he would not be there, but that he would send Vanessa a card.
So now we come to the point of this post.
Justin called me just now to tell me that he had sent his mother's card. He went to the half-price card store, but all of their cards said, "I love you" and he didn't want that, so he found a really ugly card that just said Happy Birthday. Well, he didn't like that one either. Then he found a pretty card with butterflies on it. He opened it up and it reads, "Happy Birthday. I hope you receive as much joy as you bring other people." He said he laughed so hard that the other people in the store started staring at him. That card is currently winging it's way over to their house.