Ewwww....

[annissamazing]

Dominic won't eat a vegetable unless it's canned. I've been fighting this battle for about three years now and I finally threw in the towel and started buying canned vegetables in addition to the fresh veggies that I prefer.

Tonight, though, something other than vegetables came out of the can I opened to serve with dinner.




So, that was pretty gross.

I probably should have waited until I was feeling less silly to write an email to the distributor of this particular brand of canned vegetables. But since I'm not mad, I'm not suing, and I want no compensation, I let 'er fly.

Hello!

I'd like to start by saying that we're not upset (though we are moderately grossed out), and then I'll go back to the beginning and tell you the whole story. Nobody in my family ate anything that came from this last can we opened, none of us got sick, and I have no intention of pursing the matter any further than sending this email.

I purchased two cans each of Valu Time canned green beans, corn, and carrots about two weeks ago from the (redacted) on (redacted) in (redacted). It was my first time purchasing this brand. We've eaten about three cans of the vegetables, but got a nasty surprise in the second can of green beans. I've attached a picture of what came with the veggies. It appears to be a part of a rather large insect. I'm guessing it's a grasshopper, but I've never seen one that color before. Other, more imaginative, suggestions included "flying prawn" and "mutant hummingbird."

Again, this was the Valu Time short cut green beans, 14.5 oz size can. UPC code: 11225 41580. The smaller numbers on either side are 0 and 7. The numbers on the top of the can are OGR 031950 10502:55. Best by April 2014. I don't recall what I paid, though I'm sure it was under $1 per can since I think any higher a price for canned vegetables is outrageous.

I drove combine for a summer for a company in Idaho that picked, graded, and packed peas and lima beans, so I've seen the things that get picked up in commercial farming operations. I'm surprised this sort of thing doesn't happen more often. Still, I wanted to bring this to your attention since you probably do not want animal parts getting past your QC process any more than can be helped.

Feel free to respond or not. I'm not looking for compensation, but if you have any tips on how to get my kid to eat fresh vegetables instead of canned, I'm all ears. This thing with bug doesn't appear to have swayed him at all.

Thanks,
(my signature)

Comments

[sandyosullivan.livejournal.com]

Mate. Best. Letter. Ever. Seriously!

I dunno, the canned veggie thing is tricky. I can't remember ever liking soft vegetables, so I would have had some issues with canned stuff. But what is he like with totally raw and crunchy veggies? I suppose the obvious thing always is sneaking veggies in, which I am sure you're an expert in. My favourite is spinach and carrots in a tomato sauce (for pasta), because you can get at least a serve of each in there without it even vaguely tasting of them (shredded obviously).

I can't wait to hear the response, though, from the company!

[annissamazing]

He won't touch a vegetable unless it's canned. On the plus side, he'll eat an entire can of vegetables and ask for more. So at least I have an option he will accept happily.

He wasn't always like that. When he started eating the vegetables I typically prepare for dinner, he loved them. He used to beg me for asparagus and brussels sprouts, but now he won't touch even a sugar-glazed carrot.

It's his sitter. She prepares very bland food because she doesn't like spice and serves only canned vegetables. I hope that his palate will eventually become sophisticated enough to appreciate fresh veggies and salads, which is what I prefer.

[sandyosullivan.livejournal.com]

Oh course it will!!! I mean we all love bland things when we're kids and then we grow up! I reckon I didn't get a very sophisticated palate till I was about 12 or 13, and that's probably pretty right on... and being a teenager I didn't know what to do with it till i was about 20! I just think, it's all good, at least he's eating veggies! Sometimes with bugs! Will he have salad if its located on a burger?

[annissamazing]

Will he have salad if its located on a burger?

He won't, no. And, usually, the places we get burgers don't put many veggies on the kids' burgers. He does love pickles, though. He'll pull them off and save them for last.

Completely off topic: my co-worker just got back from his visit to Australia. He's telling stories about bad dining. He had "the big brekkie" and is complaining because they overcooked his eggs and gave him tiny glasses of ice water. It's cracking me up, honestly. He wanted Tabasco sauce, so he went a really weird way of asking for it ("like a sauce, but hot?") and ended up with peppercorn gravy ("that wasn't hot, like, at all!"). Now they're talking about the Holden Ute and "How you going?"

So, naturally, I'm thinking about you while I'm listening to this and wondering just how ugly an American my co-worker is. He's a pretty pleasant guy when he's in his element.

[sandyosullivan.livejournal.com]

Sorry I meant to respond to this the other day (but was on my iPad and thought I might write a bit, bit frustrating on the iPad). Anyway... yes, nah, I used to think ugly American tourist (or Australian tourist or British tourist or whatever) about people who couldn't adapt, but I think two things have happened, one is that there is a better understanding in the host place and there is a better understanding for a lot of people who travel too. So, especially here in Aus, it would be still a small percentage of people who haven't travelled internationally, just cos to get anywhere other than here you have to jump on a plane, and Aussies are huge travellers. Having said that, we just don't use the expression hot sauce, not because we don't have it, but because we tend to refer to it by calling it either Chili Sauce or Tabasco sauce. So if he had asked for chili sauce, he would have gotten the right thing. Chili here doesn't mean meat, it just means hot sauce made of chilis... which is why when I first went to the US in the eighties, I got the shock of my life when I ordered a veggie burger with (fortunately veggie) chili on it and it was a mess of meat-like substance on there. I had to have someone explain it to me... it was good cos in other instances I would have ordered it thinking it was veggie (just sauce right?) and of course normally it wouldn't have been. But he should have asked for tabasco, because everyone here knows what that is, its one of our most popular sauces.

Ah yes, the Ute (though not just a Holden Ute)... do you remember my tattoo? It's of the Holden Special Decal (cursive writing Special), very evocative for people my age. I love utes. I've never owned one, though I suppose I could go a dual cab, but I do think they are marvelous. I often reimagine that I lost my virginity in a Holden panel van, but on recent reflection, I've remembered it was a ute with a cover and some carpet up the sides (hard to explain, try NOT to imagine it too much). I was thirteen, it was pretty bloody romantic!

Anyway, back to your work colleague (thank god, I hear you screaming), we don't say How you going. We say ha y garn. Or gday. I have never heard of tiny glasses of iced water being given to anyone, so I assume he's decided that one experience is an Aussie experience (you know how that goes). Oh yes, overcooked eggs is so NOT okay. Again, it's not the standard, I'm happy to report. I bet he complained that the cost was outrageous... cos it is! Our prepared food prices are crazy! Really expensive, its because people get paid fairly high wages here, which does mean that you don't have to tip them (and tax is always included, so the price is the price), but I do sometimes long for the US minimum wage for my servers (nice one, Sandy, ya bugger!), where it makes food prep so cheap!

And, truthfully, those funny differences are kind of what I love about travel. I love that we have odd names for things, or that others do... it's gorgeous. I also find it fascinating that rather than wishing places were like here, I often wish here was like other places. Ah, travel is a beautiful thing! And one of the things I really enjoy in America is the breakfast stuff (not as gorgeous as Britain, which seems to do all veggie stuff, including brekkie better), but I would say we do it really poorly, except meat is cheap here, so the big brekkie will have better quality meat I guess, and I understand that pork and lamb are dearer in the US (sorry cos I'm a veggie, I am not completely sure of this, just from stuff I've read). But at the moment, the crazy thing is that EVERYTHING is expensive. I was making the joke the other day (except it's not a joke) that at 14 dollars a kilo, bananas are so expensive here (and Queensland is known as the banana-bender state, because THIS is where they come from) that going to the UK the main food I'm looking forward to getting are bananas, which will be the equivalent of about 3 dollars a kilo. Far out. Imagine that. It's those floods this year and we have protectionism on the market, which normally I approve of unless it affects my ability to eat bananas and then I become rabidly right wing and unpleasant. Mmmm might need to scurry off to the UK!!!!

[annissamazing]

The irony is that he wanted Tabasco, but didn't know whether or not you guys had it there, so he went the long route and ended up with the wrong thing!

Interesting about chili. If you had asked me for "chili sauce," I would have assumed you wanted the stuff I call "hot sauce." I would never call the dish I know as "chili" a sauce.

I think many Americans who are unfamiliar with the ute would automatically see one and think of the El Camino. There's a stigma there, but the El Camino is before my time, so I don't know why.

I can imagine the carpeted, covered ute. It sounds like the big vans from the 70s that people liked to carpet and put signs on that said things like, "If the van's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'."

I've got this acquaintance from England who lives here in the states and occasionally comes to my office for various reasons. He got to talking to my coworker about traveling to Australia and one of the things they discussed in detail were the differences in the pay structures for servers in different countries. It sounds as though the tipping system in the US is actually a fairly rare thing. My acquaintance prefers the US system. He says it results in better service. I suppose I'm just used to it and I automatically figure in the extra 20% when I consider going out.

I'd like to do some international travel next summer and I'm a little nervous about the drinks situation. I don't drink alcohol and I'm told most people don't order water in restaurants (I hate mineral water). This feels like a silly question, but what are my options? I like pop, especially cola, but then I see people on tv refer to it as "American champagne" and that makes me not want to order it because I don't want to be a stereotype.

Lamb is expensive here and I'm told not nearly as good as it is in other countries. I've tried lamb on several occasions and haven't cared for it. I'd be willing to try it in other countries if it truly is better than it is here. Pork on the other hand is fairly inexpensive. Certainly less expensive than beef, but I tend to stick to the cheaper cuts of pork like chops and shoulders whereas I buy more expensive beef cuts like rib steaks and chuck roasts. Chicken's probably the least expensive of the meats, but only if it's been minimally processed. Most people seem to buy boneless, skinless chicken breasts anymore, but I find the prices outrageous and the flavor nonexistent, so I stick with whole roasting chickens. I know how to butcher them myself, but I usually don't because I prefer the flavor of a roasted or barbecued chicken to any other cooking method.

That's crazy about the bananas! Bananas are one of the few food items I can count on to be very inexpensive, usually less than $1/pound any time of year.

[sandyosullivan.livejournal.com]

American champagne? Sorry, were they kidding? I mean pop has been in every other country for a hundred years. It's as common here as it is in America and everywhere else on earth. It's not something that's only in the US. Same with table water and I always order water in restaurants and so does everyone else, so I dunno what countries these people were travelling in, but presumably somewhere VERY off the beaten track, because I've been to Iran and Azerbajan and Afghanistan and still managed to get table water, let alone the UK or Australia... I reckon they must have been pulling your leg. I can assure you people drink Coke or whatever as much here as they do in the US and it's everywhere. I don't drink at all, so when I go out I tend to have sodas or water or coffee (or all three).

Yes, they based the El Camino on the Aussie Ute... and it's interesting that it never took off, but I think it was meant to be a sort of a schmick looking vehicle, which I reckon might have been the problem. Utes here are just used by, you know, tradespeople and famers, cos you can chuck your big tool kits in there or put a few sheep in or some bales of hay, so the idea is that it's a sort of portable truck. But basically it's what you guys call a pickup truck, they just are usually car sized and don't have big tyres. And sometimes they're double cabbed (with a smaller tray area). I think the thing you described later though - the wagon - is what we call a panel van, and that's a different beast again. THAT would have been a fantastic thing to have lost my virginity in... far more privacy, but no this was a stinky old ute.

Yeah when I ate meat, I didn't like lamb either! Yes, the pay structure stuff is just that people get paid living wages here even if they work at McDonalds or whatever, and if they earn a low income and have children then they get top ups (depending on the amount of kids) for obvious reasons. I have to say I thought the service in the US (and I've been to a LOT of restaurants in the US over the years) is pretty basic, not that great at all, and that servers actually expect you to tip them and it has nothing to do with the quality of their service just the fact that they paid poorly. I've had the worst service ever and been scolded by Americans when I wanted to not pay them 20% because apparently tipping has bugger-all to do with service and everything to do with an expectation of it. I just can't stand that, and i know it's cultural. But it feels like they're begging, and I wish it was just in the service charge and that they paid them properly instead. The idea that someone could get paid 10 or 12 dollars an hour and be an adult, just makes me sick. I mean how do they live? I see why they need the tips based on that, but since you HAVE to pay the tips anyway, they might as well just add it in (you know at the heart of this, is me not wanting to do maths, right?).

Right on the chili... if he had said chili sauce or tabasco, they would have gotten it. No, you're right, and I'm wrong, I wasn't reading chili sauce, I was reading chili, and see I just had never seen chili written down before UNLESS it was sauce! Amazing stuff!

But seriously if that guy told you about the drinks, you need to knock him on the head!!! But hard!!! Too funny... bad boy! He must have known he was messing with you!

[annissamazing]

I feel much better about traveling now. I was genuinely concerned about what I was going to drink! I should have known better when I talked to Diarmaid and he said that in his part of Ireland people who don't drink are really respected.

I'm appalled that someone scolded you for not tipping 20%. 20% is what I consider the maximum tip. That's what I tip for exemplary service. I mean, I've tipped more than 20% before, but only when the bill is under $10 or when I was too lazy to do the math and rounded up instead of down. I've also tipped far less than 20% and even left a restaurant without tipping at all because the service was so bad. That's the point of a tip. Good service. My personal philosophy is if I can't afford to tip that 20%, I can't afford to go out to eat, but the server isn't entitled to it. If he or she treats me poorly, he or she ain't gettin' it. End of story. And really that's where the tipping system falls apart. If 20% becomes mandatory, it's no longer a tip and they should just add the tip onto the menu price and be done with the system entirely. I once had a server add an 18% mandatory tip onto my bill and then expect a tip on top of that. I laughed and drew in a little 0 on the tip line.

[sandyosullivan.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, he needs to be kicked in the O'Gooleys.

I feel that way too. I tip here occasionally. Like yesterday when I was at lunch down at Sails, but it was totally because the server was fantastic. And if its a nice enough restaurant it doesn't feel like rudeness to tip them (cos otherwise it feels like I'm saying that they're poor). I think travelling in the US it was always like that before the last ten years, but I understand that now the tax department assumes a tip? Is that right? Of course for me it's got to be 20 percent cos, um, I'm thick and it can only really easily be 10% or 20%, cos I am that lazy. We don't have tax separate either, its all just included, so if something costs an amount that's what it costs and I think its because of that that I find sometimes the extra amounts confounding. I also remember thinking that food in the US was cheap and then forgot that its usually 25 percent more.

Yeah, like you I just wish they'd add it all in! Good on you for writing in zero for an extra charge on service and for providing nothing for bad service. I want to do that too. And I swear I thought the service in the US was the same as anywhere else.

[annissamazing]

I don't work in an industry that tips, so I don't know the details. From what I've read on message boards, the assumption that servers will get tipped is what exempts them from minimum wage. So servers in the US can make as little as $2/hour. In order to get taxed on tips, the servers must declare the tips on their tax returns. When I add a tip onto my credit card slip, that's easily tracked. Cash tips are usually preferred. You can probably guess why.

Tipping that 20% is a big deal to servers. It's their livelihood, so if I don't tip 20%, I feel like a real jerk, which makes bad service in a restaurant especially upsetting. If I tip for bad service, I feel robbed. If I refuse to tip, I feel like I just robbed the server.

[kelkat9.livejournal.com]

Ewwww Ugh yuck! He only eats canned veggies? Oh I'm afraid I don't get that. Um the email is hysterical. I'm sorry you had to deal with the mutant hummingbird but the email is really a classic. You must let us know if you get a response.

I'll bet he was fascinated with it so I'm not surprised it didnt' deter him from the canned veggies. On the brighter side, at least he'll eat some kind of veggies even if they are packed with um mutant stuff. Did I mention ewwww. That brand is now forwever on the "do not buy" list.

[annissamazing]

Haha thanks!

He was grossed out by the bug, but not so phased that he would try some roasted cauliflower instead.

[redcirce]

Your letter cracks me up with it's awesomeness, but I'm really having trouble seeing beyond the...purple crayfish? (If it's a fragment, I shudder to think about where the rest of it is...)

[annissamazing]

:) Thanks!

The worst part is, I kind of don't want to throw away whatever that is. I don't know why I would keep it; I just feel like I should.

[gement.livejournal.com]

I am giggling at work. That's one of the most amusing letters I've ever read. I hope they enjoy it.

[annissamazing]

I'm glad you liked it! :D

[10docandr.livejournal.com]

Have you tried getting him to eat frozen veggies as a compromise? They'd be blandish like the canned ones but still have more nutritional value. Oh and as for the thing you found in the can. I think you should call in Torchwood because it could be some sort of evil alien plot or maybe just a grasshopper.

[annissamazing]

Yeah. I once served frozen peas alongside some mac and cheese and it got ugly. Not as ugly as when I served frozen peas mixed in with the mac and cheese, though. He went to bed hungry that night.

There's got to be a fic in here somewhere. I'm still thinking. :)

[flydye8.livejournal.com]

I like a good bug once in a while they can be a bit tastee,but I don't think I would want it in a can of veggies. Since I am a bit behind in post have you gotten a response yet??

[annissamazing]

No response yet! I think the QC person had called off for the day or something because the first can of green beans we opened was full of stems. I hadn't planned on buying this brand again anyway, so keeping me as a customer isn't going to happen. They'll lose nothing by ignoring the letter. It just made me feel better to write it. :)

[petercotton.livejournal.com]

Of course you had to brag about your combine prowess... Kudos for being realistic instead of getting out your monocle. :)