I've got dreams, dreams to remember.

I wrote to my mom in Taiwan and included this dream I thought was interesting:

"I had a dream partially inspired by you and dad being in Taiwan. In this
dream I was driving through the countryside with a taiwanese woman who was
going to be my mother-in-law. We get to Portugal where, in my dream at least,
people begin to look oriental and they keep staring at me because I look so
different. We stop at a restaurant to eat and when we get inside my future
mother-in-law says I have to set the table. So I do and she starts being
really mean to me and saying I have to do all the work while she sits at the
table and is served. So I go to get more silverware and I see an old run-down
oven sitting against the wall with the door open. Sabastion is sitting inside
the oven but is completely anti-social because the people at the restaurant
have been so mean to him. He's all dirty because the oven is dusty and he
keeps hissing at me and won't let me touch him. Just as I was about to snatch
him up and run away, I woke up. Let's see, I think that dream combines how I
feel about Vanessa, the fact that you two are in Taiwan, and some possibly
deep-rooted stereotype about oriental food all in one dream. Interesting,
huh?"

She, in turn, sent it to my Aunt Linda who has a hobby of interpreting dreams. I thought her response (to my mother, not me; mom forwarded this to me) was interesting:

"Driving is always your method of getting through life. If you are the driver, it represents taking a chance and facing anxiety. It would help to know what kind of a car she was in and how she felt about it. The Taiwan part was most likely inspired by you being there, but could represent something new or something foreign going on in her life--like a change of some kind coming up. It could be the upcoming marriage. The Oriental part, again could be something strange and foreign to her. The mother-in-law part might represent a part of herself she is afraid of turning into after she gets married--having to serve and work for others. The kitchen represents the mother's role. The dusty stove could mean non-use by her of her homemaking skills. Sabastian is like a child to her so he could represent the fact she fears not being able to take care of her own children or protect them from others hurting them in some way. A fear of having children maybe? The restaurant represents sociability--either emotional or sexual. She thought she was going to eat and then found out she was to serve. A change in how she views things. Something isn't the way she thought it would be and it is disappointing to her. I can't be sure on all of it, but tell her to take it for what it's worth and if she wants a more in-depth analysis, email me with more detail. this was just a quickie. I couldn't find silverware in the book I was looking in, but I have others. I was just in a bit of a hurry because I have a lot of email to answer. I'd be glad to do more if she wants. Just have her see if any of that rings true and if it does, it is probably correct. If it doesn't, just throw it out. Sometimes our minds are just cleaning house. That dream sounds, however, like it has some deep meanings."

I've never considered my dreams to have deep meanings, not even this one. However, a couple of the things she says in her analysis cause a very emotional reaction in me. Like I'm going to cry and I don't know why. Particularly "Something isn't the way she thought it would be and it is disappointing to her," and "Sabastian is like a child to her so he could represent the fact she fears not being able to take care of her own children or protect them from others hurting them in some way." I emailed her more details. I'll post what she says when I get it.

More on dreams

Ok. I sent the following details about that dream to my Aunt Linda.

"The car was an old compact sedan. I only saw it from the inside. It had a
blue interior and blue exterior. The interior reminded me of an old K car.
Or maybe an old (80s model) Honda? I was not the driver. There was just
the two of us in the car and she was driving.

"The countryside was very lush and green, much like I imagine Ireland would
look like when it isn't raining. Very hilly and very few trees. Rocks here
and there.

"The restaurant was up a hill at the end of a very long, gravel driveway. It
looked like someone's house. It was red and looked a little run-down. It
looked vaguely like a Krieger's produce store they have here in Ohio. Kind
of barn-like, only one story.

"The inside of the restaurant was kind of dark because there was only one
large window in the front of the room and there didn't seem to be any lights on
anywhere in the place. There was no wall separating the kitchen from the
dining room. There were different shaped and sized tables throughout the
room; maybe six tables and they were all rather large. The two tables I
remember clearly were arranged into an L shape and I was to set the table
for the people who were to be joining us (various family members of her's that
don't actually appear in the dream). But when I went to set the adjoining
table, I got scolded. That was not the one I was supposed to be setting.

"The silverware was extremely bulky. It was as long as normal silverware,
but extremely thick and heavy. And very ornate. Ugly. Each set was wrapped in
a white cloth napkin like they do in restaurants. When I went to get more
silverware (after the scolding), is when I saw Sabastion in the oven. The
oven was not in the kitchen and was completely disused. Broken down, the
door open, dust and cobwebs all over. Sabastion was sitting on a rack with his
paws tucked under. There was barely room for him because something had
fallen inside the oven and took up a lot of the space. I'm not sure what the
something was. When Sabastion was a kitten, he used to love to roll in
dirt. In my dream, he looked just like he did after a good roll, only old and fat
like he is now. I went to pet him and he hissed at me and rolled on his
back into defense position. I was very concerned and angry that someone hurt
him. I looked back at the woman I was with; she was sitting at the table I had
set and had her back to me. So I went to snatch up Sabastion, but I woke up
before I touched him."

Then I went on for three paragraphs about Justin's mother, but I won't post that here.

Here was Aunt Linda's reply:

"Here are some color meanings. You decide which fit your feeling about the
dream.

"Blue= sad or calm Sad about the way your life is going or calm. The fact
that it was blue inside and out could mean you were thoroughly blue about
something. Maybe your relationship with the woman?

"She was the driver means she was in control over the situation. You were
just along for the ride or were being driven to do something you didn't
necessarily want to do or had to do for some reason. It was an old car.
That could mean that this is an old fear or a situation that keeps coming up
in your life. It might have old feelings attached to it. If you have the
same feelings about the K car I do, it could represent a bit of looking down
on and a little bit of 'It's okay for some people, but not me, thanks
anyway.'

"The green countryside represents either envy or abundance. Which feels
right? The fact that it was countryside probably means abundance or
lushness. You said it was like Ireland. Is that pleasant to think about.
You thought you were going to have a meal and enjoy yourself. You were
anticipating something good. Maybe you are awaiting something good in your
life and to get to it, you have to go through the other unpleasantness. The
rocks are obviously objects or situations that you have to watch out for and
overcome. But you didn't hit any of them. You were just aware that they
were there. Rocks in our path--trials, problems. You had to go up a hill
to get to your destination. That means it seems like an uphill struggle.
You are battling something in your life, Annissa. The restaurant was red.
That means passion, lust, anger or violence. You decide which fits your
emotions. Again the fact that it looked like a house--even a barn or store,
could mean that it represents work. You battle uphill to get to what you
think is a place where you are going to get something and then you find out
more is expected of you than you bargained for. It was a little run
down--not as exciting as you thought it was going to be, a disappointment
maybe. Maybe you have been hoping for a better relationship with someone
than you have. It isn't necessarily your future mother-in-law, but it could
be.

"There were no walls in the place. No boundaries, no place you could get
away. Everything was open to her, she could see every move you made. You
may feel like your every move is scrutinized and judged. The silverware is
an everyday article, but it was wrapped up. It had some protection at
least. But you didn't. It was ornate, heavy and ugly. Something that is
usually so simple and taken for granted is made ugly, distasteful and yet
you know it is necessary. You are criticized for doing what you think is
expected or required of you. You are trying to please, but you can't seem
to please because you don't know what is really expected. You feel like you
can't get it right. Something you love (Sabastian in this case--who could
and most likely does represent something else or a part of you) is abused,
neglected, mistreated. You want to rescue it and run. You want out of the
situation you are in. It is confusing and unpleasant. You need
clarification on something. Whether it's your job or a relationship or
something that is missing in your life, I don't know.
Not having been around you for several years, it's hard for me to say
exactly what this dream means. The fact that you have strong feelings about
it is enough to tell me that something is concerning you. I believe that
dreams are given to us as a way to analyze and solve problems."

She goes on about stuff that is very heavily into the religion we both practice, but since the casual reader probably doesn't care about that stuff, and I don't want to open my aunt, my religion, or myself to criticism about it, I will not post it.

I've never been into dream interpretation, but this one has been really fun.

Maybe I'll ask her to analyze that dream where I shot myself.

(no subject)

I just remembered!

It was ten years ago today; the day that Ril calls "The Day the Page Disappeared."

heheh

Ten years...wow.